Relationships are scary and complicated. It involves a lot of time, effort, emotional investment and understanding to make it work, let alone to find the right person for you. We all have our own long list of tastes and preferences – personality, physical traits, confidence, financial capabilities, emotional intelligence and so on. It never ends. We long for a love that is perfect. But is there really a “perfect person” and “perfect love” out there?
If you’re looking for a perfect person, then you’re in for a great, crushing disappointment. “Perfect” is an illusion created by advertising, by media, and a wild dream we’ve been holding on. There is no perfect person out there. But I can make sure that there is a perfect person FOR YOU.
Since perfect is a relative and dangerous word, let’s use the word “important”. What is important to you? Based on your history of pains, heartaches, happiness and joys, what matters to you today? Does this person match your preferences? Probably not all, but at least the “non-negotiable”. These are the deal breakers. The things that will be the core of your relationship. If they do, then that’s good. Now it’s your job to find it. Here are the things that you can do:
Be the Best Version of Yourself
Lead your life the way you wanted. Be happier. Be more real. Be confident. Be whatever you want to be, unapologetically. A person who wants a long term relationship with you will not dwell on just your worth based on your physical traits. So do what feels right for you – do what you enjoy and wear what makes you feel comfortable and attractive. You will create a space that will attract the right kind of people in your life.
Scratch Your Checklist
You’re looking for a person that will not probably match all the traits and qualities you’re dreaming about. If you’re going to stick to your extensive list, you will miss out on a lot more wonderful possibilities. Focus on what that person makes you feel. Finding a perfect partner is almost impossible.
Be Clear on What You Want
Sometimes, physical attraction is mistaken as love. Yes, it could be a factor but if most of the reasons why you fall in love to a person is based on physical traits and attraction that could mean an impending doom in a relationship. What we all want is a love that will stay until the end of days.
Take Your Time
Do not rush. Even if all of your friends have already found their love of their lives, it doesn’t mean you have to hustle and look for someone in an instant. Getting to know a person doesn’t happen overnight. Sometimes, we make choices out of an impulse or a burst of strong emotions for someone that logic and reality will often be ignored. Finding love takes a lot of time.
Explore and Have Fun
It’s okay if you choose online dating, speed dating, matchmaking and singles events if that’s fun and enjoyable for you. For some people who find these means exhausting and gives a lot of pressure, you can also expand your social circle. Enroll in a learning class or a gym class. Participate in new activities or events. Find a hobby that you’ll definitely enjoy. Most likely, you’ll meet a lot of new people who share the same interests and values.
The right person for a perfect relationship will come eventually. Maybe later or maybe sooner. There are no guarantees in life. You can never be absolutely sure about anyone. You will make mistakes along the way and that would be a learning experience for you until you finally found the one.…